A young couple frolics on a beach and tell each other how much they love each other in nauseating detail. Out of nowhere, a group of hooligans in dune buggies attack the pair, running over the guy and snatching his girl.
The next day, the police inspector tells Charlie and the Angels that the missing woman is in fact Congressman Sam Knight's daughter and he of course is an old friend of Charlie's. Bosley then informs everyone that a rash of attacks on beaches has been happening of late which Julie dubs “Hells Angels go Hawaii”. This comment turns out to be her greatest contribution to the case.
The Angels go undercover as lifeguards, to investigate the series of attacks. Kelly is stalked and attacked by the beach thugs led by TV's Grizzly Adams. After fighting them off and losing them in a chase after Julie drives the beach patrol truck into a ditch, one of the bad guys (Ted) decides to betray the others and offer up the kidnapped Marty for ransom. Grizzly and his boy get wind of this double-cross and follow Ted and Marty to the drop spot. A geeked out Marty makes a run for it and almost gets run over. Kelly saves the day while Julie looks on and the bad guys thank Ted for his betrayal by giving him hang gliding lessons without the hanglider.
Grizzly and his boy return to the beach Kelly is life guarding and start to mess with her. Kris emerges from her hiding place to protect Kelly, but quickly has her water turned off when the guy calls her "blondie" and simply takes her gun away. Both Angels are kidnapped and driven three more feet down the beach, where the dune buggies are parked right out front of their secret hideout, just begging to be caught. Just to drive home how inept and illogical they are, the bad guys fail to search Kris and leave her duffle bag on her arm. They tie the girls' wrists and threaten them creepily, but then thoughtfully leave them alone together, unsupervised. The bad guys catch them using their radio "Hawaiian Mobile Operator?" to contact Bosley and Julie, (who has been reduced to sidekick status) and aren't pleased.
Bos and Julie track them down and come crashing though the gate (again) without looking to see if maybe one of the hostages is in danger of being run over. Grizzly then tries to escape and is chased down by Jaclyn Smith's extremely unconvincing stuntman in a dune buggy.
This somehow causes the traumatized girl to be recovering. Having not gotten to put their lifeguard skills to actual use, all three Angels gang up on Bosley and throw him in the pool and then laugh instead of rescuing him.
• Kelly finishes 20th in the lifeguard trials. At least four more people finish, then Kris flails onto the beach and the guy announces she's 23rd? Watch the guy ahead of Julie technically win the race, but conveniently collapse on the sand and allow her to win.
• “Alright, Julie, alright, Julie, alright, Julie,” is Jaclyn Smith's looped voice as she yells for Julie during the swimming competition. Very Angels On Vacation of them, no?
• Seems weird that they had Kelly finish first in the lifeguard trials, while Kris is all into the water sports, lives on the beach, and can out swim scuba guys with knives (not to mention any skills she might've picked up from her swim-coach of a sister). Looks like Kelly's been secretly doing some practice laps in the office pool while everybody else is out working.
• The Angels' only instruction for the lifeguard stakeout was to call in anything "the least bit suspicious" - so why did Kelly specifically report "nothing's happening here" right after she had a physical altercation with a threatening gang? This all could've been avoided.
• Grizzly and his boy decide to kill their double-crossing henchman and laughingly discuss it while said henchman is standing right there. Considering police and paramedics were standing a mere 20 feet away, you would think once Ted heard he was going to be killed he would have protested. Loudly. Or maybe even tried to run?
• How does staying in the kidnapped girl's bridal suite prove she is okay?
• Why do the kidnappers leave Kris' big ass yellow duffle bag on her arm with a radio in it? Considering she pulled a gun on them 10 minutes prior, you would think they would frisk her more carefully.
• The Jeep vehicle had the same tires as the dune buggies despite the fact that Julie's "detective" work rested on the notion that they didn't.
• The stunt people look as though producers put wigs on two burly grips and asked them to act like Angels in the scene where Julie drives into the ditch.
• Why did Grizzly run from Kelly at the end when he's the one who'd been terrorizing her? What was she gonna do if she caught him? She was still unarmed - it'd still be the exact same situation as before. All he had to do was stop his dune buggy out on the beach away from the other Angels, let her catch him, and he could just re-kidnap her.
• It's unclear whether Grizzly is supposed to be dead at the end.
• Their stay in Hawaii is nearing its end, and Kelly says that she could go a long time without seeing another beach. Kris agrees. Hope she'll be excited to get home to her beach house.
• When the Angels were threatening to throw Bosley into the water, why did he get up out of his chair and back towards the edge of the pool? He could've simply remained seated and made it a lot harder for them. Maybe he did secretly want to go in there, thinking the Angels were serious about "rescuing" him, but it sure didn't look like anybody intended to help.
BAD GUYS BEAT DOWN
SHOTS FIRED AT ANGELS
SHOTS FIRED BY ANGELS
DAYS TO SOLVE CASE (?)
All three Angels start the episode in those Hawaiian print shirts they seem to love so much. Then it's bikini fever as the detectives have to compete in bathing suits in a swim contest to qualify as lifeguards. Later, Kelly and Kris sport giant yellow jackets over more swimsuits (possibly the same outfits often used as dance togs?) as part of their lifeguard gear.
EVERY OTHER EPISODE
The character of Julie seems to have an every-other-episode effectiveness ratio. She starts out smart and capable in Angel In Hiding, regresses to eye candy for To See An Angel Die, is restored to semi competence in Angels Of The Deep and in this episode, she pretty much makes a cameo. The really sad part is even with this ratio she still seems to have better Angel stats than Tiff.
Once again the Angels (well, Bos is driving) when tracking the location of a kidnapped co-worker come crashing through the gate with no regard to friend or foe on the other side. As usual, they are saved from tragedy and vehicular manslaughter charges by pure chance.
ANGEL OF DEATH (?)
When Dan Haggerty's dune buggy crashes, they don't give us any clear indication of whether he's supposed to be dead (it's a very similar situation to that guy in the ice cream truck from Consenting Adults, who didn't die). The only reason we wonder is because they bothered to show Kelly checking his pulse, which indicates she might think he's dead. Anyway, if he did die, he would be Kelly's second-to-last life claimed on the show.
SCREEN TIME ANALYSIS
This ties a few other episodes for a spot on the top (bottom) 10 list of emptiest episodes. Kelly wins, but it's pretty balanced.
- HOW MUCH OF THE EPISODE HAS AT LEAST ONE ANGEL/BOSLEY IN IT 62%
Kelly gets a good share of the action this episode and it keeps her from falling into that Season 5 vacant stare she seems to favor so often, although she still seems only half interested in the proceedings.
Kelly gets to prove she is the fastest swimmer of the three; fight off Grizzly Adams; save the congressman's daughter from being run over, and take down Grizzly in a dune buggy chase at the end.
Julie drives the beach truck into a ditch, and looks on in amazement as Kelly performs heroics. Later, Julie's driving privileges appear to be revoked as Bosley chauffeurs her to the rescue. Kris is suddenly able to overpower her captor and push his face in the dirt after Bosley softens him up by almost running him over with a beach patrol truck.
Despite Kris being the Angel whose police academy footage includes a driving course, and Jill being a professional race car driver, Kelly is the go-to Angel for combat driving. You'd think a guy who spends so much time terrorizing Hawaiian beaches might be a better buggy driver than a visiting tourist, but hey. Thanks to a little fancy driving, Kelly makes him crash and possibly even die! For more Kelly vehicular action see Angels on a String, Angel Blues, Angel's Child, Taxi Angels.
Soon-Teck Oh: Recurring character Lt. Torres also appeared in Angels of the Deep, Island Angels, and Hula Angels.
Denise DuBarry: Marti previously appeared as a beauty contestant in Pretty Angels All in a Row.
Tommy Fujiwara: Billy Sako from Angels in Paradise makes a brief and uncredited appearance during the office wrap-up.
Dennis Donnelly directed Angel Flight, Angels in the Wings, Caged Angel, Angel's Child, Dancin' Angels, An Angel's Trail, One Love... Two Angels, To See an Angel Die, Angel in Hiding, Waikiki Angels, Stuntwomen Angels, and Angel on a Roll.
B.W. Sandefur also wrote Caged Angel, Cruising Angels, Nips and Tucks, One Love... Two Angels, Moonshinin' Angels, and Attack Angels.
Greg's Rating: This is probably the best of the Hawaiian Angels episodes. Grizzly Adams makes for an intimidating and creepy adversary, and Kelly gets her Hawaiian (ahem) moment in the sun. The Hells-Angels-Go-Hawaii theme is actually executed more cleverly than it sounds with these bad guys being BAD guys. They threaten their female hostages in every way you can imagine and Kelly and Kris seem to be in real physical danger.
Anna's Rating: Well, they sure didn't try to sex up those lifeguard outfits. On the plus side, these bad guys were more realistically bad, instead of the wimpy, cartoonish villains from other episodes (although Dan Haggerty would have killed Kelly the instant she tried to twist his arm). I enjoyed Julie standing by the side of the road and gaping uselessly while Kelly dove into traffic to save that girl. But still, I'm ready for Hawaii to be over.
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