Top 10 Self-Rescues
Lots of episodes end with two Angels rushing to rescue the third, but what really earns an Angel lots of points in our book is when she owns the bad guy(s) all by herself. Here are, in our humble opinion, the 10 best self-rescues on Charlie's Angels.
#10 SABRINA IN TERROR ON SKIS# BAD GUYS OWNED: 1, sorta BAD GUY ARMED: Yes BAD GUY DISARMED: No SEALED ROOM: Yes CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Death(?) TOTAL SCORE: 1
It's so Sabrina to just sorta leave a hostage situation. Held at gunpoint in a remote shack somewhere on the Vail ski slopes, the Smart One disarms her captor mentally rather than physically, simply talking him out of the cause to which his family is dedicated. While he still has the gun pointed at her back, she calmly picks up the phone, calls the other Angels, and then walks out. Action? Zero. Balls? Lots. (Mere minutes later, she steals a snowmobile and uses it to kill that guy's dad. No bearing on the rescue really, but still, wow.)
BACKGROUND CHECKTownsend Agency original article by Anna and Greg March 27, 2012
#9 KRIS IN HOMES $WEET HOMES# BAD GUYS OWNED: 1 BAD GUY ARMED: No SEALED ROOM: Yes CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Probably death TOTAL SCORE: 2
Barry Kingsbrook drugs Kris and leaves her to boil to death in his hot tub. Oh wait, she's only pretending to be drugged. She catches the real estate king off-guard and wages war using anything in the room - hurling liquor bottles, knocking him down with barbells, and finally Angel Flipping him into his own hot tub. After pausing to toss off a one-liner, she lets in Bosley, Tiffany and Kelly, who've been pounding on the locked door all this time.
#8 KRIS IN GAME, SET, DEATH# BAD GUYS OWNED: 1 BAD GUY ARMED: Yes BAD GUY DISARMED: No SEALED ROOM: Yes CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Death TOTAL SCORE: 3
She's alone in the ladies' locker room when an armed thug enters and seals off the door. As he creeps around trying to find her, she tips over rows of lockers to smash him, and then climbs over the top to get away. She then lets in her armed cohorts, who've been pounding on the door all this time.
It's mid-Season 2 and Kris' fight skills aren't completely developed yet - here's a pretty good example of her using her wits and senses a little more than brawn. This is one of few self-rescues where the Angel owns a bad guy without ever touching him. We'd have given her more points for a direct beatdown, but it's also kinda cool to avoid getting your hands dirty if you don't have to.
#7 KELLY IN TERROR ON WARD ONE# BAD GUYS OWNED: 1 BAD GUY ARMED: Yes BAD GUY DISARMED: Yes SEALED ROOM: Yes CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Death TOTAL SCORE: 4
Similar scenario to the previous one. Kelly's stuck in a locked office, being ordered at gunpoint to take a bunch of pills. Instead she throws the pills in the bad guy's (girl's) face and beats the gun out of her hand. A good long struggle does the office a lot more damage than her opponent, until some odd frontward variation of the Angel Flip renders the evil nurse unconscious. She lets in Jill, who's been pounding on the locked door all this time. The small, empty office provides virtually no hiding place or defense, and a hands-on beatdown is always worth more points.
#6 JILL AND KRIS IN ANGEL IN A BOX# BAD GUYS OWNED: 2 (1 apiece) BAD GUYS ARMED: Yes, both BAD GUYS DISARMED: No SEALED ROOM: Yes CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Death for Kris, possibly also Jill TOTAL SCORE: 5
A kidnapped Jill and Kris are trapped in a car with the vengeful Karazna father and a thug who's hailing bullets out the window at the pursuing Pinto. With an Angel Elbow apiece, they stun their kidnappers and then bail out of the car in the middle of a high-speed chase/shootout. Having dared to cross the Munroe clan, the bad guy is dead within minutes. (They didn't do it, but it's still kind of a bonus.) The score still amounts to only one bad guy owned apiece, but it's evenly-matched enough to qualify as a tandem self-rescue, which is about as rare and cool as the sisters hanging out at all.
#5 KRIS IN POM POM ANGELS# BAD GUYS OWNED: 2, repeatedly BAD GUYS ARMED: Knife BAD GUY DISARMED: Yes SEALED ROOM: Yes CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Anne Heche haircut TOTAL POINTS: 5
Threats of cults and death seem to mildly displease Kris, but once Anne Francis approaches with a knife to cut off her hair, that's it - Evil Honey West is no match for an Angel Flip. Kris then proceeds to headbutt the cult leader into his own stand of ceremonial candles, setting the place on fire.
Sabrina and Kelly did arrive for backup at the end, however upwards of 80% of the rescue was self-handled, and the qualifier is whether Kris could have escaped fully even if they hadn't shown. There was nothing to suggest there was anything more than a deadbolt sealing the door, which Kris could have simply unlocked from the inside. It sounded like the girls were kept there more on the honor system, anyway, having been warned that all the others would be killed if they escaped. Of course no Angel is just going to run away and doom the other hostages. (Maybe Julie.) Kris actually extended her beatdown to give the girls more time to shuffle out of the building - the bad guy was just trying to stand up when she kicked his ass (literally) again into more candles. It kinda gave the impression that she would have stayed all night re-kicking and re-re-kicking their asses.
#4 KRIS IN ANGEL ON MY MIND# BAD GUYS OWNED: 3 BAD GUYS ARMED: No SEALED ROOM: No MENTALLY SOUND: No CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Loss of new purse TOTAL SCORE: 4
Mental difficulties somehow only add to the Angels' fighting ability. Three punks approach amnesiac Kris on the beach intending to steal her purse, but instead get their asses kicked in short order and flee for their lives.
It's not like the area was secluded - in fact that old man was standing right there watching - but she still received no help and so the situation remained entirely self-contained. There were no weapons involved until she pulled a gun at the end, but she was still outnumbered and out of her mind. Not to mention it's one of the finest multiple-opponent battles of the entire series.
#3 JULIE IN ANGEL IN HIDING# BAD GUYS OWNED: 2 BAD GUYS ARMED: Yes, both BAD GUYS DISARMED: Yes SEALED ROOM: No CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Probably death TOTAL SCORE: 5
Three armed men try to force Julie into a car, but she is having none of it, and disperses them all with a kick. After dodging some shots, she clings to the roof of the bad guy's car while he speeds around the parking garage. When he finally crashes through a tollbooth thing, she's thrown to the pavement, and he gets out to shoot her. Julie grabs a board from the ground and breaks it over the bad guy's head, takes away his gun and holds him up with it. Sheesh!
#2 KRIS IN WINNING IS FOR LOSERS# GATORS OWNED: 2 or 3 (hard to tell from stock footage) SEALED ROOM: No CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: Death or loss of limbs TOTAL SCORE: ???
Kris' peaceful stroll with old pal Jamie Lee Curtis suddenly turns into an Indiana Jones movie when a sabotaged footbridge collapses, dropping them both into alligator-infested waters. Although there's nothing visibly wrong with Jamie Lee, her leg seems to be hurt or stuck so she stays on the bridge, screaming helpful things like "Watch out!" while Kris gets attacked by alligators. When her friend Bill arrives on the scene, he helps Jamie Lee (who's already relatively safe) and then sits down to comfort her while Kris is still being attacked by alligators! The wrestling comes to some vague conclusion and she climbs out of the water on her own. Points are difficult to quantify in the case of an Angel wrestling freakin' alligators, but some major honorary bonus is definitely in order. The restraint she shows by not slapping that guy, and health risks she takes from being submerged that nasty-looking water are also worth kudos, if you ask us.
#1 TIFFANY IN ANGELS ON CAMPUS
# BAD GUYS OWNED: 4 BAD GUYS ARMED: Yes (2) BAD GUYS DISARMED: Yes SEALED ROOM: Yes MENTALLY SOUND: Probably still woozy CONSEQUENCE OF FAILURE: White slavery with a chance of death TOTAL SCORE: 9
Best self-rescue ever. A drugged-up and tied-up Tiffany frees herself, jumps her evil ex-house mother, and throws her into the other armed bad guy, knocking them both down like a perfectly bowled strike. After taking away his gun and holding them at bay, two more bad guys enter and get the drop on her, forcing her to toss the gun. Five seconds later she gets the drop back on all of them, owning the armed thug from clear across the room by throwing a telephone at him, kicks another dude in the face, and gets her gun back, re-owning everyone in the room. Kelly, Kris and Bosley aren't impressed enough when they burst in afterwards.
Adding to all this, Tiffany also rescued herself earlier in the episode when she was pursued by a dart-wielding henchman in the locker room. The whole episode is just a series of self-rescues, including Shelley Hack self-rescuing her own character. Done!
MORE ANGELVERSE ARTICLES
MORE LIST ARTICLES