Top 10 Gayest Moments

Despite amazing leaps forward in pop culture during the 70's, gay and lesbians still more often than not were depicted in (at best) stereotypical and (at worst) offensive manners on movies and television. Charlie's Angels, despite a huge gay fan base, sadly was no exception. After careful scientific analysis with some of the top psychologists, doctors and cultural media commentators in the world... ok, that's a dirty lie, I watched a few episodes and compiled what I feel is the list of the ten gayest moments of Charlie's Angels. And yes it's Kanu, and it's Maxine not Max little chicken...

#10 FUSCHIA + MAGENTA = FABULOUS

Episode: Angels On Ice  Gay cliché: Ultra sensitive swishy queen Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Intentional Positive or Negative Portrayal: Mostly negative

Kris and Kelly are able to con their way onto a professional ice skating team by simply complimenting Alvin on his fashion and cologne. Because you know, compliment a gay man's fashion and fragrance, and all his professional integrity and common sense go all out the window. On a positive note, at least he was a professional choregrapher with apparently some measure of success and he kinda seemed to half ass feel sorry for Kris so...

BACKGROUND CHECK

Townsend Agency original article by Greg August 28, 2012

#9 A HOLE IN ONE

Episode: Winning is for Losers  Gay cliché: Um well, women's golf Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Unintentional Positive or Negative Portrayal: Positive

I know I know, neither Jamie Lee Curtis' character nor Kris were supposed to be lesbians in Winning is for Losers, but the episode is about women's professional golf AND it features Jamie Lee Curtis. These things simply can't be ignored. Well they can be ignored, but they will be celebrated here! Plus extra lesbian points for the testosterone-fueled battle to the death Kris had wresting a freakin alligator to protect her “friend”. We have seen a few Angel friends (most annoying) and we have seen some in jeopardy, but never has say Sabrina's friend Angela or Kelly's friend Sally received the type of fierce protection that Jamie Lee was afforded by Ms. Munroe. Most of Kris' other friends introduced on the show end up dead buried under a sandcastles but not Jamie Lee...

#8 MORE LIKE GAY CORDUROY

Episode: Angels on the Run Gay cliché: Bitchy dishy queen (who is also a dressmaker) Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Totally intentional Positive or Negative Portrayal: Both

While searching for clues/witnesses to solve the case during Season 2's Angels on the Run, Kris comes across “Roger” the dress maker while dining at Rosie's Chili. Not only does Roger have the gayest name ever, but he's a dress maker (natch) and of course a a big ol gossip. Kris doesn't have to so much pump him for info (don't) it's more like she sits next to the info geyser and allows it to wash over her. This was one of those times where being a clichéd nosey dishy gay man served the Angels (and humanity) well, as Roger saw what happened and had no problem telling folks. Of course this being a Charlie's Angels script, the writers could not help but find a way to subtly insult Roger's implied sexuality via a cheap shot from Kris. When Roger compliments Kris' looks and says she would look wonderful in a new gray corduroy pantsuit he just designed, Kris responds by saying she thinks HE would look good in it. He's gay, not a drag queen, Kris. Bitch.

#7 IF I CAN'T HAVE A FARRAH 'DO, NEITHER CAN YOU

Episode: Lady Killer Gay ClichéLesbian house mother/demented drag queen Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Subversive Positive or Negative Portrayal: Negative

In Lady Killer, former Feline Paula ends up being a crazy serial killer of blonde centerfolds. It turns out that Paula, after a tragic car accident that scarred her face and burned her hair off, lost her mind and decided the best way to make sure other centerfolds avoided a similar fate was to kill them. While Paula didn't seem to be set up as a clichéd lesbian character, she did have a very gay moment with Jill - when Paula drugs and pets the blonde Angel's hair, Jill seems uncomfortable and flinches. The big reveal at the end? That Paula wears a wig and is really bald and scarred. This reveal should have been that she was really a man in drag 4 seasons before Angel On the Line did it, because becoming a murderer of blonde haired centerfolds simply because you had your hair burned off in an accident is such a demented drag queen thing to do!

#6 IF IT'S NOT ME, IT'LL BE THEM

Episode: Caged Angel Gay Cliché: Butch prison bully Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: LOL! Positive or Negative Portrayal: Negative

Big Aggie was scary. She steals Kris' money and perfume (in prison) and hammers home the point time and time again that Kris is hers if she wants her. She pretty much sums up the clichéd aggressive prison bull dagger so often portrayed in those soft porn prison exploitation flicks in the 70's. Aggie was big and mean and ugly and scary, but on a positive note she did help mastermind a behind-the-bars theft ring for a while, so at least she was motivated.

#5 CARE TO... SWITCH TEAMS?

Episode: Angels in The Backfield Gay Cliché: Sorta predatory butch lesbian bad guys Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: I say unintentional, but slightly subversive Positive or Negative Portrayal: Negative

Sabrina, Sabrina, Sabrina. You were the only married Angel (twice!) yet for some reason you always found yourself in suspect and/or compromising positions that at best made you seem asexual. Well, just watch every interaction in this episode with rival football coach Ms Julia Smyth with a Y. What the director was going for in their odd, intense drawn-out scenes together is unclear, but what seemed to come across was a TV version of Personal Best (look it up!)

#4 A PRETTY LITTLE NECK

Episode: Angels in Springtime Gay Cliché: Predatory creepy lesbian bad guys Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Intentional Positive or Negative Portrayal: Negative

Angels in Springtime sums up every negative cliché concerning lesbians that so often appeared on Charlie's Angels and television in general in the 70's. Kelly barely unpacks her bags when creepy Dr. Slavin is already making moves on her, complimenting her beauty and quasi feeling her up, all the while attempting to drug and blackmail her. So although they were depicted as creepy, aggressive, violent lesbians who preyed on their guests of their spa, Slavin was able to do her thing while her partner-in-crime and partner-in-flannel-shirts Zora watched through a peep hole, so a couple points for multitasking? By the way Zora, a spiritual sister to Big Aggie is the only character on the series run to ever back hand an Angel in the face. Of course it was Kris.

#3 INFLAMED DANCING SPACEMAN

Episode: Toni's Boys Gay Cliché: All male strippers seem gay Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Unintentional Positive or Negative Portrayal: Who cares.

It was just annoying. Not only did this moment occur during one of the worst episodes of the series run (Toni's Boys - which I'm sorry but the very idea of 3 male “Angels” seemed gay as hell) but when Kris witnesses the dancing spaceman... well, I think that was horror and disgust she was trying to convey, not embarrassment. Nothing worse than a gay stripper who can't freaking dance.

#2 MAN, THIS NIGHTCLUB IS A DRAG

Episode: Angel on the Line Gay Cliché: Psychotic drag queen Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Intentional Positive or Negative Portrayal: Oh just awful

I say the only type of drag queen worth her pumps is a psychotic drag queen, but hey, that's just me. Most drag queens are indeed psychotic but they tend to leave it all on the dance floor. Not Margo. The thing is... Margo actually was more of a female impersonator than a drag queen. And she actually seemed to successfully fool people and live life as a woman even though she was so obviously a man... in drag. Seasoned detective Kelly was fooled and terrified and helpless when dealing with a mannish drag queen. Margo was made helpless once she fell into a puddle because as you know, drag queens lose all psychotic power once their stocking is torn and mascara runs. Sigh to the 100th power.

#1 ODDLY YES, I WAS JUST SPRAYED YESTERDAY

Episode: Angels in Chains Gay cliché: Butch lesbian prison guard  Intentional, Unintentional or Subversive: Subversive Positive or Negative Portrayal: Even though she wore a badge, negative

Angels in Chains is one of the most popular, defiantly most infamous episodes of the series run. Talk about a high concept idea, “Angels go to prison” - from that very pitch lesbian tones organically arise out of the situation. And the producers knew it. Max (Maxine) is the corrupt lead prison guard that famously sprays the Angels upon their arrival at Pine Parish prison. Just in case the lesbianesque nature of her character was not apparent from that scene, and a comment she makes about how hot Jill is, she also goes out of her way to correct a male colleague who leers at her and calls her Max. “It's Maxine”. We know your name is Maxine, Max. Because you're a girl. You know a character is supposed to be gay when they have to keep reminding you that they have a girl's name, so indeed must be female. I am not a yo-yo!