YEARS OF SERVICE:5
Jaclyn Smith has dubbed her character “The Sweet One”, and Farrah Fawcett said Kelly was “supposed to be some motorcyle person.” At least this proves Farrah watched the credits!
None of the Angels’ histories were given enough attention for anyone to merit a 10, but Kelly’s tragic, abusive, orphaned, suppressed memory, are-you-my-daddy story arc was the best of the bunch.
It is known that Kelly was raised in a Texas orphanage by kind nuns and sadistic nannies (The Seance) and it is implied that this is the reason why she seems to be the most maternal of the Angels, usually becoming emotionally involved/attached to children in duress (To Kill an Angel, Angel’s Child). At one point Kelly thought she might be the daughter of wealthy industrialist Oliver Barrows (One Love … Two Angels) but this proved to be part of a scheme to defraud Barrows of his fortune. She wasn’t amused.
What a sweetheart! Kelly really did care about people, and usually she cared about the person in trouble enough to blow her and her fellow Angels’ covers after having one conversation with the victim. This kindheartedness often led to trouble with Kelly taking in various abused cops’ sons, gun wielding pre-teens with bowl haircuts, scared pregnant single moms about to sell their babies and so on . . .
Let’s just shoot from the hip. A former drug addict (sort of); has unresolved abuse issues which can cause Kelly to be delusional; known to be physically violent; a disregard for public safety (shooting a gun with her eyes closed); is nosy as hell; will search through cabinets and drawers without a thought about it. She’s known to lie about her name, known to lie about the existence of a mother and niece, known to lie to receive a free action figure of herself, also known to lie about her occupation or reason for being in a room where she has no business being. A known flirt and a tease. Destructive with cars and property. Really bad luck when babysitting.
STANDARD ANGEL TRAITS
ASS KICKING: 10
If this category had an 11, she would get it. Kelly was not only prolific in ass kicking, but she was also the Angel most likely to start a fight. Be it a simple matter or sticking up for little Kris who was being threatened by a big ole butch broad in a towel (Angels in the Backfield), to roughing up a showgirl backstage, just so she could mess up the chick’s clothes and take her place on stage (The Vegas Connection), Kelly didn’t give a damn – mess with her or her friends and her stunt double will shut you DOWN!
Can you say underrated? While Jill got all the praise for her trend-setting locks, Kelly snuck by under the radar with some of the loveliest, healthiest hair to ever stroll through Townsend Detective Agency. Thank you, Wella Balsam . . . and Breck.
FASHION SENSE: 8
They really had to work at making Kelly not look good. She didn’t get a 10 because she started a lot stronger than she finished, and points had to be deducted for the tragedy that was the 1980′s. Not her fault.
LOOKS GOOD IN HER RIDE: 7
Kelly’s Mustang, when not blown to bits got the job done in style.
Compared to Kris, Bri and Tiffany, well, let’s just say Kelly would not be Bosley’s first choice as a scrabble partner, but compared to the meat-head bad guys, Miss Garrett routinely came up against, she was a rocket scientist. She did tend to state the obvious a lot though …
DEADLY AIM: 10
Kelly didn’t just shoot, she shot to kill, and Kelly didn’t just shoot to kill, she shot to kill with her eyes closed. Kelly could shoot the gun out of your hand but was modest enough to say she was aiming for the shoulder. She is also the only Angel to work out her childhood issues by shooting and killing bad guys. Hey – it’s cheaper than therapy and safer than alcohol. Or heroin.
TASTE IN MEN: 6
Again, we have a situation where she started pretty strong and went downhill. Kelly had a moustache-free Tom Selleck at her beck and call – hypnotized by her soft focus lighting, Selleck’s character was crazy for her, but harkening back to the above stated childhood issues, Kelly managed to shoo him out of her life and onto a private eye series of his own. In Season 3, she hit upon another good guy, the handsome, free-roaming pilot in Angel on High; but his wings couldn’t be clipped.
From there it sometimes got weird. Kelly hit it off with guest-star (and Jaclyn Smith’s then-real-life-husband) Dennis Cole in two episodes, and he was cute with his over-conditioned hair and tight jeans, but he kept trying to kill her in bowling alleys and at 6,000 feet in the air, which kind of put a damper on the courtship.
Kelly also lost major points for falling in love with the two-timing (but attractive) Bill Cord who was also secretly involved with Kelly’s friend and co-worker Kris Munroe during the whole One Love … Two Angels debacle. At least he paid with his life.
SPECIALIZED ANGEL SKILLS
• Escape Artist
• Supreme Lock Picker
• Trained Dancer
• Motorcycle Stunt Rider
• Fuse Box Expert
• Dune Buggy Stunt Driver
• Expert Jive Talker
• Experience landing a 747 while wearing clogs