A blonde bimbo in a UCLA shirt and short shorts gets paid “tuition money” by her amorous client, Clifton Cunningham. As soon as he leaves, she phones an antique shop which is getting looted by two thieves – it’s their cue to split. One of the thieves swipes an ugly ceramic frog on the way out.
Cunningham soon arrives at his shop and finds it’s picked clean. Upon calling the police, he’s interrupted by a leather-clad henchman, Ernesto, who is not pleased that the frog has been stolen. He makes a phone call and tells a nervous Cunningham that a certain Mr. Bialy wants to see him.
The Angels are hired to find the now-missing Cunningham, whom Charlie explains is a loner and lives in an apartment above his antique store. Their client is his mother, Maggie – an elder whirlwind and former associate of President Harry S. Truman.
They raid Cunningham’s place and find a notepad with the phone number for “” on it, which Kelly explains is a computerized dating service, much like a primitive Match.com. Bosley also discovers a framed 8×10 of the UCLA bimbo at Cunningham’s bedside, and a cocktail napkin from a downtown pub.
Kelly visits said pub in Streetwise Mode, where she slams a tequila shot as an exhibitionist feat and then shakes down the bartender for information on Cunningham and the bimbo.
Flash forward to a horse ranch where Cunningham is being held hostage in the stable by Mr. Bialey and the henchman. Everyone sounds extremely concerned with getting that frog back. Using unnecessary equestrian terminology, Bialey encourages his henchman to torture Cunningham.
At this point, Sabrina has tracked down the bimbo on her own and pays a visit to her apartment. Her name is Tracy, and she’s now dressed more professionally – in fact, exactly as she appears in her 8×10. She claims to never have seen Cunningham before, and creates a story about being freaked out that this ‘stranger’ has a photo from her modelling portfolio at his bedside. On her way out, Bri strangely inspects a vase lid in the apartment, wherein she spies a Cunningham Gallery sticker. Kelly, stationed outside, tails Tracy as she speeds off toHQ the moment Sabrina leaves.
The Angels are surprised to learn that while Tracy has many prostitution charges on her record, she really is attending UCLA and getting respectable grades. Jill visits the pub dressed like a hooker, where she pretends to befriend Tracy by keeping LAPD vice at bay for her. Wishing to return the favor, Tracy turns her ontoas a way to make extra cash. Jill visits HQ and conducts a sexually business-savvy interview with Cooley, the boss, who agrees to give her a job. Leaving the office, she passes a new client (Bosley) who demands to be set up with her.
Meanwhile, Bosley and Kelly, now posing as editors of Newsport magazine, have gone to Bialy’s stable to talk to him about putting his winning horse, Khaki, on the cover of their premiere issue. It is unclear what this ruse accomplishes.
Jill sneaks into Tracy’s apartment and rifles through her phonographs searching for clues when Tracy walks in and discovers her; she’s hurt because she thought they were hooker-friends. When Jill lays a possible murder charge on her, she reveals that Cunningham was one of many tricks she set up for Cooley to rip off. Jill gets her to cooperate with the Angels so they can set up the thieves.
Jill: “You can drop the ‘Tracy’. It rhymes with Stacy and Macy, and all those other jive names hookers latch onto.”
Jill and Bosley pretend to leave town for a one-night-stand in Vegas, leaving his (rented) mansion open for burglary. Armed with a telephoto lens and walkie talkies, all the Angels hide in the bushes and observe the thieves picking the property clean. When they’re done, Sabrina follows their truck to a warehouse where they stash the loot. Meanwhile, Tracy’s been kidnapped by Bialy and forced to reveal the location of this warehouse.
As Sabrina’s snooping around outside, she’s confronted by a seething doberman and Cooley armed with a shotgun. Taken inside, blindfolded, and bound to a chair, she smart-asses her captors until Ernesto the henchman arrives unexpectedly and blows the robbers away. Blindfolded Bri listens in confusion as he busts the frog open and pockets the sack of diamonds that was hidden inside. On his way out, he actually cuts Sabrina loose instead of killing her like he should have. Hearing another car arrive moments later, Bri hunkers down with a shotgun trained on the doorway; fortunately, it’s just Kelly, Jill and Bosley, who are amazed to learn that Sabrina witnessed everything but learned nothing.
Back at the office, Bri somehow realizes Cunningham is running a smuggling scam, bringing stolen diamonds up from South America. Bosley phones the stable using a Humphrey Bogart voice and demands that the stable boy load Khaki into a trailer, which Jill and Sabrina duly haul away. The Angels hold Khaki inside the office and they barter with Bialy to get the diamonds back.
Ernesto the henchman shows up at Griffith Park as instructed, and finds Jill chillaxin’ on a bench. As they make their exchange, Jill kicks over a trash barrel and speeds away on her skateboard. Ernesto chases her through the sidewalks and walkways of the park. Passing Kelly and Albert on a bench down the road, Jill covertly tosses off the hot diamonds and continues ridin’ the waves, eventually latching onto a speeding pickup as the henchman pursues in a stolen ice cream truck. Their chase ends when Jill takes a tumble over the hood of a parked car which the henchman crashes into, making him either die or just lean really far back in his seat.
The case wrap-up is celebrated at the hookers’ pub, where Maggie treats the Angels to a bottle of champagne. She doesn’t seem too concerned that her son is probably going to prison, and Charlie calls to congratulate the team. When Bosley tries to pay the check, the waitress explains that it’s already been taken care of – by a mysterious man sitting in the booth behind them (!!!).
For an episode relateively low on action, centering around diamonds and racehorses, you might be surprised to see the case wrapped up with a skateboard v. ice cream truck chase through Griffith Park. Not a single bullet is fired, and the Farrah/stuntwoman transitions are pretty awful, but darned if it isn’t the most memorable chase scene of the entire series, and one that, after watching, you kind of want to try. Not to mention that the resulting posters of Farrah on her skateboard are so cool that you don’t even care whether she can actually skate.
Kelly begins the episode garbed in layers of clashing tapestry samples – however, bad 70′s Kelly still trumps bad 80′s Kelly. Jill skating in her Nikes, blue jeans, and a simple red zip-up sweater shows us once again that Angels don’t need high fashion to look amazing.
Kelly must consider silver and green to be hooker colors, as she uses the same outfit to chat up the “working girls” in . Tracy’s dress with the stripes is is later recycled in , and Jill will soon steal Kelly’s white-and-plaid look for .
We’re getting embarassingly late into the season for Jill to still be stuck with airhead dialogue – even Kelly’s treating her like she’s the stupid one. Upon seeing the photo of Harry S. Truman, she remarks that she “always thought that was James Whitmore”. For such a trivial line, why did the writer have to go out of his way to have Jill fail to recognize a President from within her own lifetime?
Later on at the office, Kelly appears unusually competent when she joins Sabrina and Bosley in a bull session and actually helps to crack the case (or at least, manages to figure it out at the same speed as Sabrina). Jill, on the other hand, seems to be present mostly to provide exposition lines and look amazed when the grownups solve the puzzle.
Kelly tells Bosley that she’d “give anything to be an undefeated two-year-old” like Khaki the race horse. What?
Bosley also describes hooker Jill as “pudding on springs”. Were they not allowed to say Jello? Pudding can’t really stay on springs, either, if you think about it. No viscosity. It would just be a huge mess.
Kudos to Les Carter for putting more than the bare minimum into these characters. Normally on this show, whenever characters are given any distinguishing trait or quirk, it’s only so it can be directly involved in the plot later on. Maggie Cunningham is a rich and interesting character just for the sake of being an interesting character – for one thing, her Harry S Truman connection ends up serving no purpose beyond entertainment.
Similarly, Ernesto the henchman is somewhat refreshing compared to other CA thugs and bruisers who exist only to scowl, eye the Angels pervertedly, and generally desire to kill everyone. This guy commits a very businesslike double murder and amiably tells Sabrina to “take care” all within the same minute – you can’t shake the feeling that this guy is not all bad.
Charlie’s got a bag of ice on his head and is claiming to have “scotch poisoning”. Treatment? Being handed another scotch by today’s bimbo.
Case solved in approximately 4 days
Day 1 – Case introduced – Kelly shakes down bartender
Day 2 – Sabrina visits Tracy’s apartment – Jill plays callgirl
Day 3 – Jill gets hired at – Sabrina in the warehouse
Day 4 – Hobby horses – skateboard takedown – bar wrap-up ostensibly that night
• Cunningham keeps a framed 8×10 portrait of his hooker at his bedside? Do people do this?
• Why was Jill prepping her skateboard at the office, long before she knew there would be an opportunity to use it?
• The Angels seem impressed that Tracy the hooker gets good grades at UCLA. No one considers that a confirmed prostitute might not be earning straight A’s via good study habits?
• Why does Jill pluralize “Orange Counties”? She practically lives there.
• The whole problem with the other Angels not being able to find Sabrina was due to their walkie talkies cutting out. Why didn’t they call Sabrina for clarification, or just use their car phones in the first place?
• Bosley told the kid at the stable that two “lady veterinarians” were coming to pick Khaki up. Couldn’t Jill and Sabrina have arrived looking slightly more professional, or at least not in a race car?
• Why in the world did they have to bring Khaki into the office? It’s on the second floor. They brought this horse in from the street and made him walk up a flight of stairs? Think of the carpets! First pudding, now this!
• Considering the show was Ford-sponsored, having Jill hang onto that Chevrolet pickup truck meant fairly prominent advertising for the enemy. Whose decision was that?
• Why is Sabrina so insistent with her theory that Charlie has a handlebar mustache? Her biggest question about Charlie is about his current style of facial hair?
Jaclyn’s dog, Albert, also appears in, , and .
Alan Manson: Mr. Bialy later appears in as the crooked lawyer, Hollis.
Robert Hackman: The bartender also plays the drunk guy at the beginning of .
Les Carter wrote only two episodes, this and , both among the best episodes of the whole series. He should have written more!
|Shots fired by Angels:||0|
|Shots fired at Angels:||0|
|Angels Caught Looking Through Files:||1 (Jill)|
|Picnics ruined:||2 (Jill)|
|Criminal Charges:||Horsenapping (Bosley, Sabrina, Jill)|
TOWNSEND AGENCY COMMENTARY
Episode Rating :
This is my second favorite episode of the entire series. The stunt double didn’t seem as obvious as it does today but still the rollover car flip Jill does is pretty cool. Jill is looking exceptionally heavenly in this episode, especially the scene at the bar where she warns Tracy that the man she is trying to hustle is LAPD vice. It’s one of the many episodes that involve a diamond heist and Sabrina delivers the best line: “Move and you’re part of the wall!” Kelly has a great scene with the bartender but this episode belongs to Jill and her great skateboard escape. An iconic episode for sure!
Episode Rating :
I like how Kelly parks in front of the building, does not pay the meter, and is not carrying keys or a purse. Why can’t I live like this? Cool teamwork is what made this show really work in the first year, including something as simple as Jill tossing Kelly those diamonds from her skateboard. I love when a second Angel randomly appears for some tiny involvement in a scene you never heard them plan out beforehand.
I attempted some research on the subject of skateboard injuries, but unfortunately, not a lot of statistics seem available. One thing I did learn is that 1976 and 1977 are often referenced as the peak years for skateboard injuries (more than 150,000 emergency cases in 1977, says the AMA, as opposed to around 50,000 in recent years). I’m dying to know what percentage of those kids were Farrah fans.