Attack Angels


SUMMARY

Zoom into a luxurious mansion where three robo-secretaries serve businessmen cognac as they discuss the hiring of an assassin. It's soon obvious that their host, John Reardon, has the young ladies hypnotized and programmed to kill; he puts on an electrifying display of proof, and his lead blonde operative seems unfazed when she repeatedly runs her hand through a candle. Ooo.

We soon learn that Reardon's company supplies office help to Western Techtronics in the form of his mind controlled temps from hell. In order for his evil plan to take over the company to succeed, at least two more executives on the board of investors at Western Techtronics must die!

When the corpse of the hypno-blonde is discovered, Steve Briggs, president of Western Techtronics hires the Angels to stop the madness before things get worse. Kelly and Kris are wrangled jobs as trainee junior executives with Western Techtronics, while Julie becomes a part-time secretary for Reardon.

Since Reardon has all the women in his office hypnotized, its easy for him to realize that Julie is a plant, and thanks to Charlie and Bosley's sloppy background work, Julie's employment bio claims that she was once a sorority sister with the dead chick - who never went to college. No big surprise about Julie's past, but the dead girl seemed semi-intelligent.

The bad guys decide to go ahead and use Julie anyway because she seems to be a "good candidate". They run her through a series of standard employment tests including general office filing, typing ... and hypnotic light indoctrination. After 30 seconds of typing, Julie appears fully hypnotized and under Reardon's control. Soon Reardon has her doing the hand-through-the-candle trick, and before you know it, she's a fully fledged Stepford Secretary. Within moments, Julie robotically reveals her true identity, employer and mission, as well as the names of her fellow Angels.

Transported to Reardon's lair, a mostly naked Julie has been slipped into a glass tube filled with water and pulsing lights which is meant to further hypnotize her but instead just gives the audience a much-magnified view of her cleavage.

Upon arriving at her apartment later that night, Julie finds Kris already inside and gleefully unwraps a large candlestick she got at work. Neat. After admiring the company gift, Kris leaves (why was she even there?), Jules whips out an 8x10 of Steve Briggs, lights the candle, and off we go into the trance.

Over at Western Techtronics, secretary Cynthia is busy drugging a cup of coffee, and when Kris and Kelly walk into the room, they find Mr. Danvers (another Techtronics executive) nearly dead on the floor, the lady standing over him. Kelly tends to the unconscious man and thankfully the paramedics get there in time to save the unlucky investor.

Kris tells Briggs he's definitely the next target, and she and Kelly search Danver's office for clues (like fingerprints) and Kris discovers a suitcase belonging to coffee lady, stuffed with a candlestick - just like Julie's new toy.

Julie: "I didn't attack anyone!"

When Julie arrives for an appointment with Mr. Briggs, she greets him pleasantly, then unleashes her fury on the unsuspecting client. A suspicious Kelly and Kris show up in the nick of time and when she attempts to intervene, Kelly gets an Angel Chop to the abdomen for her trouble. Kris subdues the raging Julie with more air chopping. With the gasping Miss Rogers finally pinned down, Kris realizes that Julie and coffee lady are being manipulated as human weapons to eliminate the company heads (how did she get that?) Mr. Briggs brings in Dr. Joyce Brothers to find out what the hell is wrong with Julie, who now apparently also has amnesia. Kris stops by the therapy session with candlestick in tow, and the doctor eases Julie back into the trance so that she'll spill her guts.

The girls drive the successfully deprogrammed Julie to Reardon's house so she can slip inside, locate evidence, and then slip back out. Kris and Kelly (rightfully) don't trust her and warn that if she's not back in ten minutes, they're coming in after her. Inside, Reardon - garbed in his mad scientist lab coat decides that coffee lady has served her purpose and that he will simply remove her supply of oxygen by submerging her in the water tube thing.

Reardon catches Julie in his office, fresh from rifling through his desk drawers; she lies badly and gets herself into a tough spot. Luckily, Kelly and Kris bust into the lab, and as Kris judo kicks the lab partner in the throat, Kelly spies the oxygen deprived Cynthia floating in the nude tube. In the next room, Julie's having a knock-down-drag-out with Reardon, ultimately hurling him through the one-way glass and into the white room where Kris is strangely loitering.

During the wrap-up the Angels and Bosley are sprawled all over the desk, appearing exhausted, as Charlie explains something about Western Techtronics geothermal something or other advancements in science which were made possible by the intervention of Charlie's Angels. Right.

BACKGROUND CHECK

Attack Angels Episode #106 Season 5, Episode 13 Airdate: Jun 3, 1981 Writer: B.W. Sandefur Director: Kim Manners Guest stars: Joyce Brothers

FILMING LOCATIONS

The Townsend Agency Office

WHAT'D YOU THINK?

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CURIOSITIES

• The mega company Western Techtronics oddly enough has only one conference room. Really? • For her "light response test," Julie is instructed to type exactly what Reardon is speaking to her. Does she get hypnotized quickly enough that it doesn't matter what she's typing? Because she's only clocking like 8 WPM. • There is no easy way to say this. Tanya Roberts is great, she is the best thing about the character of Julie, but some of her acting "choices" in this episode leave a lot to be desired. For an example of NOT using "The Method", watch the deprogramming scene with Dr. Joyce Brothers and tell us what you think. • Kris and Kelly slacking off right out of the gate, arriving 15 minutes late for their first day on the job. This is why Sabrina sleeps wearing a watch. • Steve Briggs repeatedly hits on Kris and tells her she'll never need to go to the gym. He does not extend the same compliment(?) to Kelly. • Kris doesn't seem all that phased as Julie freaks out over how beautiful her new candlestick is. It's a freakin' candle, Jules. • Reardon hypnotizes Julie into closing her eyes, yet the last shot before commercial break shows her eyes open. • It's not quite clear when Julie goes into and out of trances. • Upon witnessing Kelly tend the dying man on the floor, for several seconds Kris stands completely motionless in the doorway despite Kelly's orders to get an ambulance. • Was Kris hiking her skirt, 1920's-style, to allure the bald scientist before kicking him in the neck? • Kris says of the empty white lab/room, "So this is the disco room you were telling me about?" An apt description, however we never heard Julie tell Kris anything of the kind. Did a scene get deleted that would've made this make sense?

BAD GUYS BEAT DOWN BY ANGELS

ANGELS BEAT DOWN BY ANGELS

SHOTS FIRED AT ANGELS

SHOTS FIRED BY ANGELS

DAYS TO SOLVE CASE

LOCKS PICKED

SECONDS TO HYPNOTIZE JULIE

CHARACTER DEATHS

FASHION

Kelly and Kris spend the episode in executive businesswomen drag, trapped in taupes, mauves, and flowing cravats, rendering them indistinguishable from the drab drapes and carpets in their corporate habitats. These looks are waaaay too 80's for Charlie’s Angels even though . . . it is the 80's at this point. Kris' businesswoman-at-the-office up-do resembles the plastic hair on a Ken doll.

Julie wins the prize for best-dressed in this episode. Notice how the color of Julie's outfit directly reflects her mind set. When good, sweet natured Julie, she is wearing cool blue. When evil hypnotized Julie, she is clad in ferocious red! At the end when deprogrammed but still pissed, she is sort of in between, a red number with blue accents.

MIME BOOK

For years, when the only quality in which I'd ever seen this episode was muddy 90s-VHS-taped-off-TV-Land, I assumed I misheard Kris asking Julie to borrow her "mime book" and one day, if the series ever got restored on DVD, I would finally find out what she was really saying: Nope, it's really a mime book. It's this book. About miming. Why does Kris want to see a mime book - and so urgently that she makes a whole trip to let herself into Julie's apartment that very night to get it, instead of just asking Julie to bring it to work the next day? Why does Julie have a mime book? There's nothing going on in this, or any recent/future case, involving mimes or Kris needing to brush up on her mime technique. (Why couldn't this have happened in Angels On Ice, when it would've been pertinent?) After four and a half years of going out of their way to avoid ever giving us a shred of character interaction that doesn't turn out to directly tie into the case at hand, why does Kris need to borrow Julie's mime book??

CHARLIE IS SO PROGRESSIVE

When Charlie tells Kelly and Kris they will be joining Western Tectonics as "Junior Executives", Kris says, "Executives?" and Charlie replies, "Yes, it's affirmative action." Well, of course it is...what else could it be? Women can't be executives! They are not smart enough!

VACANT STARE ALERT

More like a Season 5 apathetic voice dub alert. When Kelly is saying, "Julie, Julie, where are you?" it sounds as if she could care less where Julie is. Kelly seems emotionally distant the entire episode and her only real contribution is getting beat down by Julie.

SCREEN TIME ANALYSIS

Julie gets almost double the other Angels' time; that's too low a score for us to think of this as a true Julie solo episode, but it's her closest thing to it. Angels are absent for a noticeable chunk, but all the beatdowns during their presence sorta make up for it.

  • KELLY
  • KRIS
  • JULIE
  • BOSLEY
  • HOW MUCH OF THE EPISODE HAS AT LEAST ONE ANGEL/BOSLEY IN IT 70%

ACTION

Julie kicks just about everyone’s ass she encounters in this adventure and that includes bad guys, clients, and fellow Angels alike.

The episode feels like one long fight scene - the highlight being a hypnotic Julie attacking the Angels' client, Steve Briggs; she kicks him in the gut and proceeds to beat and strangle him.

attack-angels-julie attack-angels-fight

As Kelly tries to pull the still swinging Julie off their client, Julie slugs Kelly in the stomach, dropping the shocked Miss Garrett to her knees. Kris, armed with her giant prop handbag, moves in to Pseudo Kung Fu her fellow Angel into submission. You don't see this every day.

More Julie fight stats

CONVENIENT ANGEL SKILL

Let's face it - in the annals of Angel Lore, Julie is never really referred to as "The Smart One." We're not saying she is stupid, just that Tiffany and Sabrina would be picked before her in a game of Partners Jeopardy so it comes across as rather surprising when Miss Rogers indicates she has some knowledge of Western Techtronics having interests internationally as opposed to only operating on the west coast. Watch Kris' face - she's not buying that shit either.

SET DESIGN

Reardon's office or lab or whatever it is resembles a big white box punctuated with transparent plastic chairs off the Merv Griffin set and a few third-grade science fair partitions scattered atop $6 Ikea tables. Are we meant to believe this place is cutting-edge?

And during the nighttime scene at the Townsend Agency when Kris, Kelly and Bosley are leafing through dozens of empty manila folders in the dimly lit office, notice that the set is now decorated with two ornate candelabrum ablaze on the mantle. Why did they start doing this?

REPEAT OFFENDERS

Norman Bartold also appeared as Mr. Platt in The Big Tap-Out.

Cliff Bole also directed Dancing in the Dark, Winning is for Losers, Pom Pom Angels, The Prince and the Angel, Of Ghosts and Angels, and Let Our Angel Live.

Kim Manners also directed Angels Remembered, Catch a Falling Angel, Angels of the Deep, Hula Angels, Moonshinin' Angels, Angel on the Line, and Let Our Angel Live.

B.W. Sandefur also wrote Caged Angel, Cruising Angels, Nips and Tucks, One Love... Two Angels, Waikiki Angels, and Moonshinin' Angels.

OUR TAKE

Joann's Rating: Rating Attack is, for Angels fans, probably Julie’s (and Tanya’s) shining moment. The premise is that some evil person is hypnotizing girls and installing them as secretaries for companies so they can kill the executives in charge.

The Angels go undercover as executives in training. What more can you ask for? Julie (for some reason) is picked to be hypnotized. Cut to scene of Julie in a glass cylinder filled with water concentrating on timed pulsations of a strobe light. (I swear this is not a Wonder Woman episode).

Long story short, Kelly and Kris come in as Julie tries to kill the executive who hired them, they subdue her, she remembers who she is, they go after the bad guy by tricking him into thinking Julie is still under hypnosis (would never thought of that), and save corporations everywhere from whatever vague takeover was happening in the first place.

Attack always reminds me of an Avengers episode. A bit absurd and clunky in a lot of spots, but when you’ve been watching a show and characters you love for five seasons you almost start to be able to see them do anything.

Greg's Rating: Rating One of my favorite episodes of Charlie's Angels, and the best episode of Season 5 finds Julie Rogers kicking everybody's ass, friend and foe alike. If Julie has 80 cool points, 70 of them come from this episode.

Brolly's Rating: Rating This is as good as Season 5 gets. Julie kicks serious patootey in this episode.

Anna's Rating: Rating 1 star is for Julie beating up Kelly, and the other 2 are for Kris beating up Julie. The other 50-some minutes are just filler. Since it's the only episode with a real Angel fight, I'm so glad I got to see my favorite beat up my least favorite. It's not that I don't like Julie - this episode gave me a weird relationship with her. It's most of what I do like about her, but it also exemplifies what I don't. I forgive the attacking of fellow Angels.. but I don't forget, no ma'am. Yes, I know it was legit hypnosis, just like when Kelly tried to drive Jill off the cliff in The Seance - but Kelly made you sympathetic and Julie didn't. It's not Tanya Roberts, it's lazy character building. This plot hinges on the conflict against a relationship (loyalty between the new and veteran Angels) they neglected to pre-establish.

Good or bad, it's an entertaining (parts of it) episode that gives you a lot to chew on re: Angel loyalty and fighting skill.

Holly's Rating: Review I hated Julie from the first moment I saw her slug Kelly in the gut. It took many years for me to look twice to find her other redeeming ... qualities. It's still hard to watch.

Kenny's Rating: Rating Julie is hypnotized and proceeds to kick everyone's ass. You would think Kelly would have fought back more but it's Kris who saves the day. My favorite part of this episode is when Julie beats up Victor Newman.